miashell: (subversive liberal academic)
So, tomorrow, 10 AM, for four hours, is the exam.

I feel like I've been through a hell and a half in this process, but I am coming out of the other side knowing I could walk in a classroom tomorrow and teach any of the 60 works on my list, and that I have a pretty decent overview of 20th Century American Lit which will help lay a foundation for my dissertation.  Now, I just need to have a four hour on-paper conversation with three great women- Margaret, Clare, and Anna Mae- (the advisiors who wrote the test) about books I love and how they fit together, based on some pretty narrow themes. 

A year ago, I was ready to quit. Positive I could never do this, that I was too stupid, that I didn't have the talent, that I should just give up.  Maragret and Clare convinced me that I had made it this far, and not to let the "imposter syndrome" get me. 

I am not an imposter. I can do this. And I will.

Thank you to those of you have been such a support, and believed in me. I will carry your strength with me tomorrow.

2 days...

Feb. 4th, 2007 06:07 pm
miashell: (phd)
Two days to go.  I am wiped out.  Intense weekend of study, with much love and support from my parents who made me good food, kept me hydrated, and made sure I took breaks to maintain my sanity. 

We watched You've Got Mail while eating dinner yesterday, and I burst in to tears when Meg Ryan came to the line, "So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around?"

Tonight I am feeling really lonely. I'm missing people.  Not much fun to watch Superbowl commercials with no one to snark them with. I need to rest my brain- I'm over emotional and feeling far from analytical.

Can't wait to see those of you I'm missing soon.

God, I'd better not fail this thing.

meme

Jan. 26th, 2007 08:02 pm
miashell: (two ladies)

*snip* )

Stolen from bunnygoth, because I need a break from American Psycho!
miashell: (subversive liberal academic)
Any good thoughts you can muster right now would be much appreciated- thanks!

My horoscope today...
TAURUS (Apr 20 - May 20): You are inspired to finish the tasks that have been following you around. The source of your sudden inspiration may be as mundane as a very real deadline that you cannot change. Since you strongly believe commitments should be honored, don't be afraid to move mountains in order to accomplish what you promised.
miashell: (happy)
This Is My Life, Rated
Life:
7.1
Mind:
6.6
Body:
5.7
Spirit:
7.6
Friends/Family:
7.4
Love:
9.1
Finance:
7.5
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

woohoo!

Jan. 18th, 2007 11:22 pm
miashell: (smiling)
woohoo for snow!
woohoo for negative test results!
woohoo for kicking Morrison and Crowley and Baraka's asses to the literary curb!
woohoo for losing weight at WW!
woohoo for my snuggly brat snoring softly beside me and keeping me warm!

woohoo!

(and now back to our regularly scheduled studying, and nursing of wicked bad cramps)

:P
miashell: (Default)
Was hoping to be able to write a longer wrap up post about Arisia, but suddenly the new semester is upon me (tomorrow!) and exams are calling my name.  I spent a lovely day with my wife today, relaxing and spending time together. I love that woman. Convenient, huh? ;)

Arisia

Jan. 14th, 2007 09:45 pm
miashell: (subversive liberal academic)
Had such a great time at Arisia- much thinking and talking and observing and, now, much sleepiness!  I hope to post more tomorrow, but now, I crash.

Many thanks to [profile] auntiemame67 and [profile] blacstag for sharing the weekend with me :)
miashell: (i attack you with cuteness penguin)
Happy birthday, [profile] auntiemame67!  And many, many returns :)

grrrrrr...

Jan. 8th, 2007 01:32 pm
miashell: (move along)
So, my 10 minute trip from Enfield to Springfield? Try and hour and a half in dead traffic. Bleh. Finally can upon the tractor trailer accident, but not before I had to pull over and let Aimee's poor old car rest so it didn't seize up from overheating.

Just 4 more days...   really looking forward to [profile] auntiemame67 and [profile] blacstag's company this weekend, and geeking it...
miashell: (magic tree)
*double plus goodness points if you get the subject line reference....*

Was just welcomed as a member of UUSGS.  So happy.  The minister's sermon included her perfect bumpersticker slogan... "Impossible, impossible, impossible... possible!"  Perfect for me today.  I feel at home there.

Aimee will explain more in a later post... I am off to work!
miashell: (the road)

Tonight, I chose to forgo New Year’s Eve festivities in favor of a quiet night of work and reflection.  Having finished my work for the night, I put on Loreena McKennitt’s “An Ancient Muse” (a Yule gift I have not yet enjoyed), opened a bottle of BBC Coffeehouse Porter, and charged and lit a candle- “May my mind, heart, and soul reach a state of perfect serenity.  May all my thoughts and actions reflect my pursuit of a peaceful and tranquil existence.” Jasper is sitting beside me on the couch, and I am relaxed, content.  I want to take this time to reflect over what has been a year of journeying, a year of discovery, of hope, of loss, of love, of hurt.  I hope to reflect on certain aspects of my life this year, as well as set some resolutions and intentions for the year to come.  

Home )

Health )

Hobbies )

Overall, I hope to live this year as I have tried to live my whole life: with an open heart, and with hope for the future.  I have suffered some of the worst times of my life this past year, have understood new depths to my potential for anger and fear- but I have also reached places I never knew existed in me in terms of love.  I resolve to keep on this path, to reflect on it, and to continue to challenge myself to live a full, open, honest life.

miashell: (come-hither)
Have decided that I need some good reflection time to think about this past year, with all it's glorious ups and devastating downs, and so I'm going to stay home alone this New Year's Eve and spend the time in quiet meditation and reflection.  Thanks to [personal profile] fireheart (who doesn't read this, but I send thanks out into the universe in any case) for his end of the year wrap-up and goal setting post, which was part of the inspiration for this decision...

"In solitude we give passionate attention to our lives, to our memories, to the details around us." -Virginia Woolf
miashell: (magic tree)
I'm a happy girl, I am.  :)

And now, back to Native Son.  Racism and poverty and murder, oh my!
miashell: (happy)
Wishing you all a beautiful Christmas.

Life is good. :)
miashell: (Default)
Comment to be added.

Profile

miashell: (Default)
miashell

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